in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I could have mohawked her pubes.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
All I want is dick and wine.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
