Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
