Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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