So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
