He disabled his match.com account in front of me
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
