4 words: hood of his car
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
