Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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