the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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