tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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