don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
it glows. i had to have it.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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