hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I love you.
Bad choice
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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