Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
