My brain says no but my pants say off.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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