I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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