Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now. http://tfl.nu/w5j3
  Replies (37) Good night (4228) Bad night (1120)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us. http://tfl.nu/xmtc
  Replies (20) Good night (1077) Bad night (6152)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it. http://tfl.nu/h4q6
  Replies (22) Good night (6234) Bad night (1159)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A http://tfl.nu/1ey6
  Replies (28) Good night (1236) Bad night (5407)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic. http://tfl.nu/37md
  Replies (5) Good night (1009) Bad night (2752)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/5p64
  Replies (9) Good night (4486) Bad night (1039)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes http://tfl.nu/v9u0
  Replies (13) Good night (6218) Bad night (1111)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800. http://tfl.nu/a5yx
  Replies (15) Good night (2733) Bad night (819)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now http://tfl.nu/mcne
  Replies (6) Good night (2329) Bad night (871)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (321): I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex. http://tfl.nu/mg10
  Replies (6) Good night (2211) Bad night (868)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie. http://tfl.nu/7rxk
  Replies (13) Good night (1578) Bad night (718)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life. http://tfl.nu/zzux
  Replies (2) Good night (1312) Bad night (833)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service? http://tfl.nu/0xho
  Replies (3) Good night (1526) Bad night (814)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live http://tfl.nu/94h1
  Replies (3) Good night (767) Bad night (697)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (209): Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered. http://tfl.nu/p8yt
  Replies (0) Good night (711) Bad night (268)

Randomize