You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
