I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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