so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever