we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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