Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
