So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
