I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
