Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
