I like my sex mixed with concussions.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
