He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
