If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
