If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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