your thong is hanging out like whoa
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
