so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
These tits shall not be calmed
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
