No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
