My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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