I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
