I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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