the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You are the jesus of drinking
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
