Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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