Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
