i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize