Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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