Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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