Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
