I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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