OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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