My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
i now understand why vodka
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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