He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
