bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
