im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
