we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
