Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
