dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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