Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
