Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I have aggressive nipples.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
