I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
