The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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