I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
