How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.