THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.