just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
