Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Ketchup is God's man juice
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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