just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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