I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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