Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
