this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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