Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
