So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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