3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
